I was discouraged yesterday after the ALS support group call, it was all about our impending death. There was no hope at all. I cried, felt beaten down. I am and always have been an optimistic person, the word negative is not what I vibrate to, but lately I feel like someone is trying to drill in my head that I’m no good, you are going to die, no doubt about that. We don’t care that you are Holistic, you will take drugs, and we will see to it that you don’t get organic food, don’t get your needs met, and don’t get care because you are done, you are not needed by any of us anymore. We have money and insurance and we count, you don’t, so just die anyway! It was such a bad feeling that all I could do was to go outside to be with my plants, where I feel appreciated for loving them, keeping them beautiful, and giving them water. This nurse from Kindred came wearing a blue scrub, I was not expecting her. She said we can stay outside she would love the chance to do her work among the plants. It was a truly good session, for me as well as for her Just talking to a young woman who has young children lifted my spirit and reminded me of the good work I used to do going around to different patients homes. She reminded me of myself and that felt good. My mother had once said to me, “there is something about you that I don’t know if it’s a fault or a virtue, you want to see peace and happiness so much that you don’t even look at the negative side” it’s true. To me ALS, autism, cancer, diabetes and all diseases can be healed because God didn’t will for us to suffer like this. We all just need a reminder, mine came today wearing a blue scrub. God is it, not technology or science or loads of money.
Satnam,