It happened quickly once I surrendered it all to God. I said to him, please take over I just can’t force this system it’s not working for me. If you want me to die here far from my home in this place that feels wrong to me, then so be it. I respect your will . Then all changed. My Social Worker enrolled me in long term care because of my diagnosis. A well dressed man came by and said I could move back home to South Florida and could go to the facility of my choice if it was on their list. He took out his laptop and I could hardly believe the first place he mentioned was the exact one I had chosen. I knew the owners for over 30 years and their children and it was next door to my beloved home that I was forced to sell because of ALS. My old neighborhood, close to my youngest son and my dear friends that I cherish. My sister and husband could come down to help me move since they were ready for S Florida warmth and sunshine. My brother in law rented a van for my move and ex husband could drive it down to have a chance to be with our son. My dear girlfriend had offered me to pay for the gas to do what she could to see me get home, since I had been so miserable where I did not belong. And my sister’s husband who is really a brother to me after so many years had a hitch installed in his car and rented a trailer for my new electric wheelchair who had been at my son’s house since I was not allowed to have it at the facility I was at. My son had been using it since his devastating accident over a year ago. With all his pain and discomfort he and his dear wife brought it down from their porch that has about 10 stairs. An electric wheelchair is like a motorcycle and about as heavy. I appreciate all my family and friends without whom this could never have happened. They all showed me true unconditional love. And we set out for our 9.5 hour trip to the Southeast. Wow what a great escape it was for me. And to all involved I say a big thank you from my heart. It all happened when I surrendered it all to God. So never give up but rather surrender all to him in faith. Satnam

Some people say I’m crazy doing what I’m doing.  Well they give me all kinds of warnings to keep me from ruin.  When I say that I’m ok well they look at me kind of strange.  Surely you’re not happy now you no longer play the game..  People say I’m lazy dreaming my life away.  Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me. When I tell them that I’m doing fine just watching shadows on the wall.  Don’t you miss the big time boys, you’re no longer on the ball.  I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round.  I really love to watch them roll… Thank you John for continuing to enlighten us.

Satnam

We all experience different Christmases in life, depending on what is happening in our lives.  Nobody ever said they would all be good and full of cheers.  This particular one is to me the worst I have ever experienced.  I have felt alone, abandoned, not heard, and not loved several times  in my life, but this year takes the cake.  We are all supposed to cheer one another through life especially if you are a healthcare professional.  We are there as support after all for all who are suffering, we are expected to lift others,  it’s our duty.  But when emotions are so up and down and when hope is only in your visualisations it tends to get almost impossible to see that light at the end.  So don’t give up no matter what is happening.  All our prayers are being heard we just have  to trust with incredible faith.  For now I’ll just re read last year’s Christmas blog and remember my Happier Christmases.  Like the song says.  “If you cant be with the one you love, then love the one you’re with.

Satnam

Have you ever felt like that?  be truthful with yourself. This between you and God.   Before considering think of the negatives of the situation, what your new life will not have anymore.  As well as the positiveness of your new life of choice.  Then pray genuinely, attend good groups, use the professionals, don’t judge, but feel and go forward on your journey, you have learned many lessons, Master.

Satnam

For years now, I have been criticized for being too laid back.  I really felt that something was really wrong with me.  Even in public bathrooms the person in the stall next to me puts down her pants, pees, and flushes an I wait patiently for urine just to flow easily.  But the fast ones cannot possibly understand this, because fast, faster, fastest is all they know.  I am more of a Kapha type better known in Ayurveda.  You just don’t rush a Kapha, it will never work.  So I became a Kundalini Yoga teacher which fits me absolutely fine,  I could talk to other teachers with ease because they too understand the importance of slowing down.  Some people totally understand me and we can have meaningful conversations, then on the other hand there are the fast, faster, fastest type that think I am an absolute nut!  The thing is we have to achieve a sense of balance in  our different views in life.  I don’t ever expect the fast faster fastest ones to ever understand simply because their minds are up somewhere darker.  And if you ask me to think like the Speedy Gonzalez, well I just can’t, not interested, not for me.  No thank you.   So now, I know there was nothing wrong with me.  After years of study of Massage Therapy and the wonderful Modalities of this type of work, that included Meditation and Yoga and then finding a chapter in my book” Whatever arises love that”  called”  The importance of slowing down” I know better and must pass it on.  It’s my duty as a human being.

Satnam and Namaste

I read that somewhere long ago.  This morning on FB I listened to Tony Robbins speak about the same thing.  I always thought it was good advice and lived by that, feeling I was practicing my spiritual path  to wisdom.  But I now realize that my goodness was not genuine.  I was acting good, and practiced good but it was really  words without action to really help someone in need.  Because deep down inside we can’t really help others, who can do that?  With money being so hard to come by for most middle class people and dog eat dog attitude that took over our country, how in the world can we sit back and be good examples to our community? And truly be there for one another.  My passion changes as I age and grow and learn, it has reached a stage to care for the elderly, because I am there and feel so neglected.   So I am using the principles of using death as my advisor, maybe others will join me in doing so as if it’s our last act.  Make it a good one.

Satnam

December 8th was John Lennon’s last day on earth.  Let’s remember this quote today.

It matters not who you love, where you love, why you love, when you love, how you love .  It matters only that you love.

John Lennon

Satnam

Something I did regularly when I lived at my home.  Somehow it was all of major importance to me.   To honor the cycles of nature that renew our energies and refresh our souls.  So tonight is the last Super Moon of 2017 and although I cannot follow the ritual the way I would have previously, I mentally did it and rather well at that.  It is rather easy for me to visualize something that feels so right.  And there is not a better way to ask for help from above.  Along with prayers, meditation and the magical energy work we have been given,  rituals to the universe is the path of least resistance for us as human beings.  Let us evolve along mother nature.

Satnam and Namaste

How well I remember the story of the little engine that could. It was a lesson in faith. Yesterday for Thanksgiving day my son who I had read the story to many times showed me that he still has tremendous faith.  After a devastating accident last Christmas, leaving him in too much pain to ever be able to work again, struggling to keep his family living as normal as possible.  He cooked for us a donated turkey given to him as a sense of goodwill.  It made me proud to see my son sharing with us without a worry.  It showed me true faith.  My thanksgiving was complete.  Often times years later you own children give back to you in a way that nobody else could ever do.

Satnam

Your breath is the true fountain of youth.  We search high and low for something that was given to us freely.  It was the first thing we did at  birth and the last thing we’ll do in the experience of death.  Yet it is taken for granted and not cultivated but rather destroyed by accepting pollutants.  We do have a choice, but first we all must educate ourselves on our precious breath.  As most Yoga teachers will find out the many excuses people use for avoiding to breathe properly.  After all this teacher training we naturally come to a great understanding of our breath.  We also find out that love is the highest vibration and our breath is the wisest teacher, something very important to pass on to  our students.  You must be very patient as a Yoga instructor, realizing that once you didn’t know either.  We need teachers all along to bring good news to the mass.  Next time someone says to you.  “Take a deep breath” pay attention to your state of mind at that particular time and the calming effect when you become conscious of that deep breath.  See and feel for yourself that fountain of youth within.  Our great teacher Matt Kahn speaks in a wonderful easy to understand way about our breath, he is pure delight to my soul.  See for yourselves, and find your own fountain of youth.

Satnam