I was feeling very depressed thinking how little respect I am getting  after my life dedication toward good.  Was it all for nothing?  All the courses after becoming a Florida State LMT,  all the money I spent taking course after course,  to better my work and now in a wheelchair with ALS with people thinking I am insane. People thinking  I have completely lost my marbles, I had reached a point of giving it all up.  Then the speech therapist here approached me saying I don’t understand what is happening to me, I wake up everyday at around 3 a.m.  She was really baffled by this when to me it was perfectly normal.  I found my inner yoga teacher just say simply ” It’s the Ambrosial Hours”. What is that she asked.  I told her it was a time of prayers but it is so much more, it’s a magical time when the night is giving way to dawn and at sunset when the day fades into the night, when the veil is at it’s thinnest we find perfect moments of reflexion, prayers and meditation.  Perfect time for a Yoga practice.  I did mine on Hollywood Beach for years.  It was the best time in my life. when the special light from the sun stimulates our pineal gland which then emits DMT ( the spirit molecule associated with religious experiences and overwhelming sense of peace and unity)  into our bodies, causing a sense of bliss.  So if you find yourself being completely awake at such odd hours, don’t sweat, do what you are supposed to do and enjoy a blissful day.

Satnam and Namaste

It will never work.  This is what came through this afternoon after asking for a divine answer to my dilemma.  I didn’t know what to do, so,  I prayed and waited patiently.  I came to understand that I’m a square peg trying to fit in a round hole and it’s not working.  The great books I have been reading and studying for years have helped me to understand that I must go with what my heart wants, a square peg,  And say no to what others call logical, safe  and secure, and what is expected I do, a round hole.  No wonder I have been so torn,  I have been doing what others want for me and disregarding what my heart wants.  No more.   So what if  people think I’m crazy, I’ve reached that point  that  I can ask,  who really cares?  ALS is a difficult enough condition, don’t tell me to accept what is unacceptable, it  will not work.

Satnam

A sacrament to some, to others, it’s just a piece of paper that’s also often  included with a prenuptual agreement, and an understanding that it may not last too long, children or not.  To me that’s not a marriage but rather a business agreement made up by man, in other words, it sucks.  For me it’s always been a sacrament, for better or for poorer, in sickness and in health until death do us part. I feel rather sorry for the ones who choose the other.  I feel it’s  a waste of precious time, dishonoring the children of that union that will be greatly regretted someday.  As you come to that state in life when you look back at what you have accomplished a good solid  marriage is a truly successful life and not the great amount of money you have amassed.  In her book Anatomy of the Spirit, author Carolyn Myss talks about the great importance of honoring the sacraments.  It matters like nutrition matters to the proper functioning of the body.  It matters period.  As I myself look back I find it truly difficult to forgive such dishonor to my soul and to my children and accept crap instead.    So again I ask Spirit to forgive for me, because I can’t.  This is me and how I feel, I needed to write about my heart hurting to let it all out at this stage I have reached.  My oldest and closest friend in the USA found her true love in her second marriage, and I honor her husband for the type of man he is.  Marriage is a divine union between a man and a woman, healing or destroying body mind and soul.  I’ve always chosen healing.   The high road.

stories before and now I am living it.  They make you wait when time is precious to you because of the importance to obey rules and regulations,  if you disobey, you are out of a job, and regarded as no good for your profession.   What’s wrong with that picture folks??????????????????????  Is this the America people want?   Is this  ” Make America great again” ????????????????????   Money, and  Insurance  rules over healthcare.  Totally and completely against God’s plan.  They say that good will always win over bad and evil.  Maybe so, but frankly it is taking too long.  Please wake  up a great change is needed in the world and it doesn’t look to me as it will start in America.  We need action from a real hero, not an orange with gold elevator doors.

Satnam truth is my name

Give Peace a chance.

Satnam

Yes, how many times must cannonballs fly before they’re forever banned?  The answer my friend is blowin in the wind, the answer is blowin in the wind.  Yes, how many years can some people exist, before they’re allowed to be free?  Yes, n how many time can a man turn his head pretend that he just doesn’t see?  The answer my friend is blowin in the wind, the answer is blowin in the wind.  yes, how many times must a man look up before he can see the sky?  Yes n how many ears must one  man have  before he can hear people cry?   Yes n how many death will it take til he knows that too many people have died?  The answer my friend is blowin in the wind, the answer is blowin in the wind.  Our great prophet Bob Dylan sang so long ago.  It’s time to hear the words and reflect on our actions toward one another.

Satnam

I always knew that my heart hurt, mostly because I was never given what I need to survive.  I took it, as many people do. but it left many scars on my heart.  We all have a story, and we all have scars.  It marks us for long periods.  But at a certain point you have to let it go.  Because it will get you one way or another.  You have reached the point of no return.

Again our Spirituality sustains us.  Au nom du Pere, et du Fils et du St Esprit,   Ainsi soit- il.  Healing from a Holistic being is everything,  attitude,  lifestyle  all around, love and nurturing, laughter and vibrational therapies etc… etc… I am healing deep emotional pains I have held in the chambers of my heart for too long, no longer needed. Trusting that all is well. I read on Facebook not long ago,

keep trying,  keep praying, stay positive,  be awesome, become better, not better than anyone else, but better than the person you were yesterday.

let’s rejoice,

Satnam

A timely song by Michael Jackson, a classic, that will always come back at times of crisis throughout the world.  The beauty of Facebook is to share such treasures as great reminders of who we are and what we have come here to do.  Our true love for our fellow human beings is meant to be felt everyday as in times of crisis.

There comes a time when we head a certain call, when the world must come together as one.  There are people dying and it’s time to lend a hand to life.  The greatest gift of all.   We can’t go on pretending day by day that someone somewhere  will soon make a change.  We are a part of God’s great  big family, and the truth you know love is all we need.

We are the world, we are the children, we are the ones who make a brighter day so let’s start giving.  There’s a choice we are making , we’re saving our own lives, it’s true, we’ll make  a better day just me and you…

In the midst of the Puerto Rico crisis, we must come together as citizens of the world and save our own kind.  We are the world.  Thank you Michael Jackson for the reminder and thank you my friend Debbie for sharing this on Facebook, I cherish the message.

Satnam

It was just a tune in my head at about 5:30 this morning.  I knew it was from the Beatles but had no idea of the words.  I could not let it go, had to write it down like recording a dream, if I didn’t write it , it would be gone and my notebook was not near me.  Since ALS, I do my best to limit my movements in order to avoid falls.  It was still dark outside but I did manage to make it to notebook and computer.  I reviewed the tune and tried to put words to it. Don’t make me something? Don’t let me down?  I searched internet and it was Don’t let me down, their last performance together on the rooftop of the Liverpool Central Library.  I watched it on YouTube, thankful for another insight from John. What does this mean?  I don’t know but he’s been there with songs since May 2016.  Is this chanelling?   I have no idea, this never happened to me before.  I just don’t know but had to record this in my blog.  Trying my best to go home to my support system, my son started a page for me on youcaring.com/Diane.  Asking all to share as often as possible to help me get back home.

Satnam